Looking back over my single/dating years I wish I had done some thing different. I wish I wouldn’t have fought that process and instead truly enjoyed my life where it was at. We live in a culture that always wants what we don’t have. We want to be doing something different then what we are doing in the present.
When I was single I would always say my dream was to get married and be a mom. That’s a great dream! Now here I am a wife and a mom and sometimes I can find myself saying, ‘if only I could just have some time to do somethings I want to do.’ Or wanting to be living out other dreams that I have in my heart.
During my single years all I wanted was to be married. I wish I could be where I am now telling my single self, “it’s all going to work out just fine. You are going to be married one day and be a mom.” You will (hopefully) never get back your single years. Make them count. Find some things that you dream about doing and go after it now! Instead of sitting around looking at what you don’t have in your life currently look at what you do have and have the opportunity to do.
I feel like this a continuous reminder I have to give myself in each place I find myself in life. I am a “do-er”. I like getting things done and planning for the future. I can be on a vacation and already planning out our next vacation in my head instead of just laying there soaking up the current vacation I am on. Ridiculous, I know..haha. When I do this I miss out on all the beautiful moments I am currently in. Being married doesn’t fix or fulfill everything in your life. Yes, it is the most amazing thing I have done. That and becoming a mom. But it doesn’t suddenly fill every desire and dream you have in your heart. I have had so many wives and moms tell me how they want to do others things with their life as well.
There is such a balance between dreaming and being present. I have in no way perfected this, but it is something I am endeavoring to do. Find a way to live life to the fullest now, in the current place you find yourself in. Then when you look back at this time in your life you won’t look back with any regrets thinking you should’ve done this or that when you had the time.
I think some good questions you can ask yourself are..
- What are my dreams that don’t include needing to be married or dating?
- How can I go about pursing those dreams now while I have the time?
- When I am married and a parent how do I want these passions to fit into my life?
The saying is true, the grass always looks greener on the other side, until you have to water that grass. But what I think is that if you spend time watering what is currently your grass, then you won’t have time to be looking over into someone else’s. Fill your plate with everything you have in your heart to do. Dream of your future, but give care to your present. In doing so, when your dream of a spouse comes, you won’t have a heart that has had years feeling empty.
Life is beautiful! Be sure to enjoy yours!
All Photos by Sarah Schweyer Photography