When Seth and I first started dating one of my biggest concerns with Seth’s financial state. I had a full time job and he was in ministry school while working part time. Seth and I always laugh about how when we were dating we would be walking into a coffee shop, or somewhere to eat, and Seth would try to ‘discreetly’ log into his bank account on his phone to make sure he had enough money to pay for it. Of course I never made mention of noticing this until we were much farther into our relationship, haha.
Although Seth was making less money then me at that time I saw something in him that helped to ease any concerns I had. He was a hard hard worker. He wasn’t lazy. I knew that he would do whatever it took to provide for me if our relationship was to move forward.
By looking at the state of where things were at it would be easy to say, “um…yeah you’re not ready for a relationship”. But this is why you don’t make decisions based off of a check list of what looks good on paper! If I had done that I wouldn’t be happily married to Seth right now and a mom to Sienna. Instead I looked at his character, work ethic, and potential. I saw what he was capable of. I saw a devoted loyal man who was actually the hardest worker I had ever met. I would always tell him, you are a workhorse! If you know Seth you know this about him and you know there is almost nothing he isn’t capable of doing.
As our dating relationship progressed he continued to expand his jobs. He was in first year of ministry school at Bethel in Redding, CA when we met. We discussed him doing a second year there but felt where we were heading in continuing to move forward in our relationship it would be best if he got a full time job. Money doesn’t grow on trees people! I do believe that God can bless us supernaturally for sure! However, I always believe the saying, if you don’t work, you don’t eat. 😉 Seth wanted me, he wanted to marry me, so he knew, he had best get working!
Now, fast forward three years. This summer we have been married for two years. Since we got married we have had a baby, bought a house, and have no debt. I don’t say this to say look at us, but what I am saying is…look at where we started, and look at just four short years later where we are at! Don’t allow where you are currently in your life cause to you to camp out in a place of discouragement. Things can change so quickly. One of the main purposes of my blog is to hopefully fill you with hope. To see that there are other people who have been where you are at, who are longing for a spouse, a baby, a house, and financial freedom. Don’t give up on your dream. Sometimes just knowing someone has been in the place where you are gives the reassurance that everything will work out just fine.
In a previous post I talked about not having to have every thing perfect to be with some one. My personality is one of a perfectionist. I like all my I’s dotted and T’s crossed. So when I realized Seth didn’t come with a career at that time I was definitely a bit worried. I am so glad I didn’t throw the towel in because of that. I am so glad that I allowed myself to be taken outside of my perfect box I had placed around my perfect list of who my perfect husband was going to be. Because I did marry my perfect man!
Finances is by far one of the biggest opportunities for arguments, stress, and disagreements in a marriage. At least maybe for us! haha! But it is also one of the biggest opportunities for faith, supporting each others desires, and unity in your marriage. Seth and I are both very intentional when it comes to our finances. However, what I have a high value for, he might not have a high value for and vice versa. We have to come together, share our hearts, challenge each others faith, choose to be givers and remind ourselves, that where we are at is not where we will always be.
You can apply this to any area of your life, not just finances. If you are single and want to be married, if you are married and want to buy a house, if you have a passion you want to pursue. Remind yourself that every person started somewhere. “Faith is the evidence of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen” Have faith for the unseen in your life. The road ahead of you is uncharted and waiting for you. Where you are in life, in your relationship, in your marriage, in your finances is not where you will be. Don’t pitch a tent and think this is all. Have faith for the absolute best in your life!