Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

Thanks for sending in your thoughts on what you would like for me to talk about next! I got so many great emails and suggestions! I loved reading them all!
I had a few requests on wanting to hear about Seth’s and my journey in the area of purity. I know that not everyone reading this blog is a Christian. I am not here to “preach” to anyone. But this blog is about sharing my life and my journey so that is what I am going to do.
I was raised Christian and understood from a young age about saving myself for marriage. At around the age of 13 I promised God that I would wait until I was married to have sex. I began praying for my future husband to do the same. I prayed that he would wait for me.
When I started seeing Seth the topic of previous relationships obviously came up. During one of our times together Seth said before we proceeded into a dating relationship he wanted to be open and honest with me about his past physically in relationships. I actually never thought for a minute that he wasn’t a virgin. The way he was treating me and respecting me was SO much different and better than  any guy I had previously dated that was a virgin. So when he began telling me that he was not one I was actually shocked.
I left from our time together honestly, really confused. I prayed for a virgin, I waited, so probably Seth wasn’t the one I had been praying for. Wouldn’t God give me what I prayed for? Plus, shoot, I waited! I deserved to be with someone who waited too! I was talking to my parents and told them what I thought and my Dad told me something that stopped me in my tracks. He said..”Carly if he asked God for forgiveness and God forgave him and sees him as a virgin now then why don’t you?” uhhhhhhhhhhhh…….I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t argue that. Even though my pride of how I waited, and I felt I deserved to be with someone who did the same, wanted to argue it. I knew. I knew the reason I saw him as a guy who was so pure and honoring of me is because that is who he now was. His past did not define him.
Seth and I made a decision right from the beginning of our relationship that we would not have sex with each other until we were married. It wasn’t something that was up for discussion, or was a…wellll if it happened its okay. It was a definitive, not gonna happen, not an option. We left no room in our minds for any “accidents”.
The question always seems to come up when someone says they are waiting until marriage to have sex. “What if you marry them and it’s just not good at all?” And then the typical response is, “Well I have nothing to compare it to so how would I know?” However I like to respond to it this way..”I didn’t marry Seth for sex. Sex is way of us being able to have a level of intimacy in our marriage to show each other how deep our love is. So there is no way that it could be bad because our love for each other is just too great.”
Once I realized Seth and I were heading in the direction of marriage I did think…”oh. my. gosh. he has had sex before and I haven’t! What if I have no clue as to what in the world I am doing?!” I remember finally telling Seth I was tad bit, well, nervous! His said to me something that quieted all the nerves in me. He said, “Here’s the thing, I never loved anyone I ever had sex with. The love I have for you is going to make it amazing!” And that was that. I knew I had nothing to worry about. Seth was head over heels crazy in love with me, and would never compare me to another because he never loved another the way he loved me.
And so our wedding night came, and the wait was all worth it! It made it so beautiful and special. Our relationship was not built on a foundation of sex. It was built on a foundation of deep love that finally go to express itself on the deepest level of all on our wedding night.
I remember growing up hearing the “True Love Waits” slogan. haha. But it really is the truth. There is nothing more beautiful than someone loving all of you enough to wait to have all of you.


  1. Monica
    September 7, 2016 / 12:16 am

    I hope you write a book soon! I love your writtings!

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