Oh yes, the list that we all have. “6ft tall, blue eyes, funny, likes the outdoors….” I know I had my list. When I would meet someone it was as if I whipped out my list to see if he checked out on my requirements. I did that very thing with Seth.
Seth and I were actually introduced through my parents. He went to the church I went to, but we had never met. It was February of 2012 and I had just come out of a relationship and really wasn’t looking for anyone. I was happy with where my life was at.
My Dad had been getting together with Seth for coffee and mentioned him a few times in passing to me, but I didn’t think anything of it. One Sunday my parents got to church (I was running late, oops!) and had sat in the row behind Seth. My Dad introduced my Mom to him and my Mom then proceeded to ask how old he was and if he was single. Which my Dad decided to chime in with, “I have a daughter and she is going to be here soon..you should turn around and take a look at her”. Um, okay…thanks dad! Now obviously I got to church having no clue that any of this transpired. Seth and I never met that day. I found out about all of this later on at a family lunch when it came out and of course, I was so embarrassed! But what did I do when I got home from that lunch….well I did what any other normal person would do..I Facebook stalked him! I didn’t feel any skipped heartbeats when looking at his pictures. I didn’t feel anything at all actually. I looked at his Facebook and moved on with my day. Some time went by and my Dad was still meeting up for coffee with him here and there.
One day after my Dad had met with him he told me, “I really like Seth, he is a really good guy. You should meet him and just see what you think, if you don’t feel any interest towards him I won’t bring him up again”. My Dad and I are very close and have always had a close relationship. But he had never specifically brought up a guy to me. So for him to say that I felt I needed to at least meet Seth and see what I thought. Not to mention, my sister and brother-in-law had met Seth as well and became #TeamSeth too. My whole family all decided to start rooting for Seth.
(Some of the first photos Seth and I took together. July 2012)
My Dad had to go to the store that Seth was working at at the time so I told him I would go with him. We didn’t know if Seth was on a shift that day or not, but I figured I would give it a shot and see if we “bumped” into him while getting what we needed. Sure enough, he was working. I split up from my Dad who went directly to meet him and instead circled around the store a few times. I then walked up behind Seth who had no idea I was there..(I know, such a good ninja move!) He turned around very surprised to see me..haha. We all talked for a few minutes and then my Dad and I left. As we walked out for the store he said “So, what did you think?” I said, “I can see why you like him so much, he is such a nice guy, but he really isn’t my type”. “Alright, well it was worth a try”, my Dad said. And that was that.
Eventually Seth added me on social media and I would begin to see things about him on there. He was somewhere way in the back of my mind but I wasn’t fully aware of that. We ended up seeing each other around town, but more from a distance. Now the town we were living in at the time was by no means large, so it was easy to run into people. But this felt different. Like somehow we were always passing by each other. One day after seeing each other from a distance at a church function he wrote to me on Facebook just saying hi. We began commenting back and forth to each other on pictures we would post or on Twitter. I remember clearly one night being in bed on the phone with my sister. I was telling her how he really wasn’t my type, he didn’t fit my list. Or so I thought. She said to me, “Carly, stop looking for your ‘model’ husband because he could be exactly what you are looking for. You just need to give him a chance”. Now it wasn’t ‘model’ by looks only, it was my list. The things that I had written out on my heart that I wanted and expected to come in a certain package. I was so challenged by my sister in that moment. I felt something trigger in my heart. Maybe I was being too closed off and just needed to be more open.
Jumping ahead on the story of Seth and I for now…Obviously he was EVERYTHING I had been wanting, praying for, and looking for, but he just came differently than I thought. I always tell Seth, “You are everything on my list and so much more”. Seth had it all, maybe not the height of 6’2 😉 but who cares!! As Seth began pursuing me I saw more and more how he carried everything my heart was really longing for in a husband. Seth is the sweetest, most loving, caring man I had ever met and still continues to pursue me with the same heart he did when he first began his pursuit of me.
What’s on your list that you are holding too dearly? Don’t negotiate your non-negotiables. For instance, I wouldn’t negotiate having the same faith as someone I was interested in. But blue eyes or green eyes are not non-negotiable. 😉 Be open and watch what can happen when you stop checking off your list every time you meet someone, and instead allow your heart to live and feel.